Soccer: The Most Popular Sport in America?

Jack Constant is maybe the one family member who hasn't been mentioned once in my blog and he happens to be my little brother (he mostly hasn't gotten a shout out because I generally only include family members who are likely to comment on my blogs if their names appear in them, thanks Uncle Rip, Uncle Jay, Mom, Dad, Grandma and Grandpa). But, in this case, Jack happens to be the inspiration for this week's blog. Jack is good at roughly five things in life: eating, sleeping, making a killer ice cream sundae, spraying an unhealthy amount of AXE on his body, and soccer. Jack can play soccer like it's no body's business. In fact, Jack is so good at soccer that he plays for a league in the Iron Bound section of Newark, NJ (he is basically like the real life white from the movie "Save the Last Dance."

Jack the soccer stud. Photo from Facebook.com






He is getting roughed up by teams with players that come from backgrounds where soccer is life (think anywhere in Latin America and most of Europe) and he is loving it. And the reason I chose to write about Jack and soccer today is because there are kids like Jack all across America, living, breathing, sleeping soccer and yet it is one of the most unpopular, underpaid major league sport's in the nation. How can soccer be so popular as a youth sport and so unpopular as a professional paid sport?

Chuck Klosterman first brought this issue to my attention in his book "Sex, Drugs, and Coco Puffs" when he writes about his hatred of the sport and how every child in America has played it at one point in their lives. Even I played soccer in my youth. I did the YMCA soccer team, mostly for the trophy you receive every year just for signing up and paying the 30$ it costs to join the team, and yes I even played for a traveling team for a hot second (I quit because there were no more trophies being handed out each year. Oh, and maybe because I was atrocious at soccer).

Cute little kids love to play soccer, why doesn't anyone watch soccer? Photo from Flickr.com


According to my mother, I spent more time dancing and singing in the goal than I spent paying attention to the game, probably much to my father's chagrin who just happens to be a member of the Summit High School Varsity Soccer State Champion Team from the 70's, but what can I say, I was made for the stage. But, Chuck also brings up a pretty valid point that almost every child in America plays or has played soccer, it's an extremely competitive sport to get recruited for in college, but yet it doesn't fair well against the MLB or NFL as far as fans are concerned. Why is that?

I guess I can somewhat see why people don't go to professional soccer games or bother to watch them on TV. First of all, soccer announcers are obnoxious to listen to. If I hear one more person yell, "GOOOOOAAAALLLLL" I may have to crack skulls. I know it's a goal, I'm watching the same thing you are Mr. Announcer, calm down. Also, from what I've learned while watching games with my brother is that soccer announcers are usually Irish with obnoxious accents. It's probably different in American soccer, but still a turn off. Lastly, movies such as "She's the Man" and "Bend it Like Beckham" have made soccer seem more like a choreographed lame dance than a riveting sport to watch and are completely unrealistic. In "She's the Man" the first thing Duke Orseno teaches Sebastian "Viola" Hastings how to do is a bicycle kick. On how many occasions does a player do a bicycle kick and why is it the first thing you would teach a mediocre player? Nonsensical I say.


Seriously, no one learns that right away. Photo from Flickr.com








On the other hand, why wouldn't America fall in love with soccer? Unlike other sports, soccer is essentially the same for men and women, which means if either watched a game, they would understand what they are watching. I know how frustrating it is to watch a sport that you don't entirely understand, but soccer is easy to learn the basics and follow, so why wouldn't Americans enjoy watching something they understand? Also, if most Americans have played soccer, why wouldn't they want to watch the sport they once played? Also, have you ever looked closely at soccer players? They are gorgeous, not mammoth beasts like football players, not absurdly tall like basketball players, not likely to loose teeth and get a black eye like hockey players, not jacked up on steroids like baseball players; major league soccer players are perfection. And sometimes they even take off their shirts during games! Come on ladies, there should at least be a female following at soccer games.


You knew Beckham was bound to make an appearance. Swoon. Photo from Flickr.com




So, after writing this blog, I am thoroughly convinced that the MLS is lacking some much needed love and attention. I encourage everyone to go out, catch a game, and decide for yourself. I'm going to look into it this summer, why shouldn't you? Also, here's a question for all you readers: Why do you think soccer is popular in other countries but not in America? What would influence you to watch more games? Post your comments and I'll respond!