I have bashed many a things in my blogs, from athletes, to the Olympics to my roommates (my parents). In the last blog of the summer season, I thought I would take a stab at one more ridiculous concept.
The NFL preseason.
Not the idea of it, because it's a necessity to prepare yourself for the regular season. But the over-analyzation of it that has gotten out of control.
An example: two weeks ago ESPN praised the play of Aaron Rodgers, saying he has shown the maturity and ability the Packers knew he had when trading that other guy that had at that position.
This week's game didn't go as well for Rodgers. He played less like a franchise quarterback and more like a drunk freshman girl at her first frat party, being chased by big guys all night and forced into some bad decisions.
It didn't go unnoticed by the analysts, who are now questioning the decision to make him their starter even more than before. But what can't be lost in the mix is that this is still THE PRESEASON. It is irresponsible to make such judgements from week to week in the regular season, let alone during a game where most of the guys on the field in the final minutes will be bagging our groceries in a month.
Teams don't gameplan. They don't stay up at night thinking of ways to exploit the other team's weakness. The most important task of these games is to get your reps and get your hits in before they start to count for real.
In 2005 the Colts lost all their preseason games, going 0-5. They went 14-2 in the regular season, winning their first 13 games.
In 2004 the Patriots went 1-3 in the preseason, then they won the Super Bowl.
The preseason is for the young players to adapt the NFL and for coaches to finalize the last few cuts on the 53-man roster. To assume it means anything more is a waste of time.
But when there is a network dedicated solely to the NFL, they have to fill the airwaves with something for the the 24 hours they are on the air a day, don't they?
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One last bash
The Media is Destroying Michael Phelps
There is a dark cloud covering Beijing. Well a really big 6’4 rock solid muscle rock. Obviously talking about Debbie Phelps, ugh just kidding that is a face I can do without seeing ever again. I am speaking of course of Mr. Michael Phelps. Thanks to the media coverage, I am now so sick of Michael Phelps and am convinced he is an evil demon spawn with the mission to suck away any accomplishments by the rest of the U.S.A Swim Team so that the complete media focus can be on him.
Michael's closest race in the 100 fly at the Olympics. Photo from flickr.com
But being an aspiring journalist and all, I realize, as per usual, it is the media's fault. Now Michael is, for obvious reasons, a main focus at these Olympic Games. He’s done the impossible, 8 Gold Medals in one Olympic Games. He is the most decorated athlete ever. He is the Zeus of the Olympic Games. But he’ll be the first to tell you, or specifically speaking Bob Costas, that he couldn’t have done it without his teammates. Heck, two of his medals came from relays and honestly, it wasn’t because of Michael that they won the freestyle relay that was all Jason Lezak baby. Michael was behind after he swam the first leg and no one else could catch the French before Jason dove in, he really saved Michael’s behind.
But of course, what is the first question Jason Lezak is asked in one of 2 million packages NBC has mass-produced in the past few days? “How did it feel to help Michael win one of his 8 Gold Medals?”
Seriously dude? Seriously! That's what you ask Jason Lezak? And Lezak answered, rightfully so, "I didn't do it for Michael Phelps."
Word up my brotha’.
Men's 400 freestyle relay. Photo from flickr.com
This may be SHOCKING media people but, while his teammates are no doubt excited for him, they are not winning for Phelps' benefit and they aren’t throwing races to let him win. Swimming is an individual sport. Phelps is a big man, maybe the size of a few guys, but he is only one man. So, maybe out of respect real world journalists, maybe you could focus your questions on the athletes you are actually interviewing instead of inquiring about Michael. Trust me, there will be more than enough time to interview Michael. He is basically dog tied to NBC.
So I am going to use this time to give some shout outs to all the other swimmers that NBC has neglected to pay attention to.
Rebecca Soni, it was your first Olympics ever, you were swimming against Lesil Jones, the best breaststroker in the world, and you beat her. You didn’t just beat her you smoked her. Congrats. 
Rebecca Soni in the first leg of her gold medal performance. Photo by flickr.com.
Ryan Lochte, you were swimming against Aaron Piersol in the 200 backstroke. No one thought you’d take it from the veteran but you did and you looked mighty fine while doing it. 
Ryan Lochte. Photo from flickr.com
Natalie Coughlin, you are by far one of the best U.S.A women swimmers of all time. You medaled in every event you swam this Olympics, and unlike Michael Phelps, I can tell you have other dreams and aspirations outside of swimming.
Brendan Hansen you had an extremely upsetting swim in the breastroke to the extent that you didn’t even medal. But you still shook hands, smiled, and went on to cheer on your team from the stands. That is what being an athlete is all about.
Speaking of sportsmanship, Dara Torres, you are my hero. You have proven that nothing is impossible and no dream should be given up despite age. You could have mothered some of the swimmers on the team but yet you were right in the pool swimming with them. Before your semi final of the 50 free, you even went as far as to delay the race from starting because a fellow competitor was having a swimsuit malfunction. You could have let it slide and let her miss her race but you knew how precious those Olympic moments are and you wanted her to have that opportunity, even if she was only going to be in the water for 25 seconds or less.
U.S.A Women's silver medal performance in the 400 medley relay. Photo from flickr.com.
Congrats to all the American swimmers. Together you created a force to be reckoned with and kept us glued to our seats every night. And finally, congrats Michael Phelps, you gave us something to cheer for every night and kept us in a dizzy fantasy world of, What if? What if he really pulls this off?
And you did. You actually did it.
Olympic Let Down
I got into an argument with my Mom today. I presented a hypothetical situation and asked her opinion.
That was a mistake.
"If you had to choose, which would you rather have - a Super Bowl ring or an Olympic Gold Medal?" I asked.
"A Gold Medal, no doubt," she answered.
"You're wrong," I countered.
"Get out of my house," she replied.
Now don't get me wrong, I understand the importance of the Olympics. I'm as patriotic as the next American and will root for any American in any event. But to me, the Olympics are anti-climactic.
Athletes prepare for four years for their one chance to compete. That doesn't even include the numerous qualifiers they have to make it through.
The focus and dedication it takes is unmatched in any other sport.
And what do they get for it? A medal if they're on the top of their game at that particular moment. A few endorsements if they're marketable. Maybe a groupie or two.
But when all is said and done and their time has passed, where does that put them? Can you tell me who won the women's' 100 meter backstroke in 1996? Now can you tell me who won the Super Bowl in the 1996 season?
Answer A) Beth Botsford
Answer B) The Green Bay Packers
My guess is more people got B right.
I'll take my Super Bowl ring, my five figure bonus and six figure minimum salary from the NFL. Mom, you can have your $1,000 in endorsements.
Maybe I'll buy insurance from you after you retire from the Olympics.
An Olympic athlete can prepare for their one shot their entire life. They can train 80 hours a week for four straight years. But if they slip once on the big stage, it's over. There is no next season. Sure they can go to Worlds, or compete in other events - but that's like winning the CFL Championship. Who cares?
That isn't meant to knock the athletes who are competing in Beijing. I have an enormous amount of respect for them and they will return as Hero's.
But in a month from now when the Olympics are in the rear view mirror, it's back to the real world. Not everyone can bask in the glory of the Games like Michael Phelps.
Don't miss my point here - an Olympic Gold Medal is very impressive, to say the least. If you go to a bar and bring it with you, everyone will gather around to hear your story.
You just better hope someone else picks up the bill.
The U.S.A Women's Gymnastics Team is Playing a Cruel Trick on Us
Something is up.
Blame it on the dirty air in Beijing. Point fingers at the horrendous gymnastic costumes. Question the Chinese women gymnasts who are clearly no older than 9-years-old and probably casting some voodoo ancient Chinese spells because other than that, there is no explanation for the U.S.A Women’s Gymnastic Team’s performance at these Olympic games so far.
No there is an explanation. U.S.A has clearly been switched with Romania’s lackluster team in some sort of Freaky Friday gone wrong experiment. How else can you explain the injuries? Rookie mistakes? Falls?
Or maybe it is just bad luck.
Nah not America, we are supposed to dominate the Olympic games, especially gymnastics.
But something went horribly wrong Sunday in Beijing. The team went into the qualifying round on Sunday already down a gymnast. Chellsie Memmel, who has to have the worst luck in the history of any sports plus the most confusing spelling of the name “Chelsea”, came into the games with an injured ankle and her only chance to compete coming to her in the uneven bars. Then, Sam Peszek hurt her ankle during warm ups which put Bridget Sloan into her spot who has the most nervous competition face I have ever seen. Loosen up girl!
Despite all of these injuries, I was still feeling pretty positive. I mean, we’re U.S.A! We have the most sparkly, muscled, tiny girls around! Nothing can go wrong.
Oh but they did. They went very, very wrong.
Chellsie Memmel. Picture from flicker.com
U.S.A started on the floor where going out of bounds is basically a mortal sin. Well, our team is clearly full of sinners or they were trying to play a game called “How many different ways can we touch outside of that little white line?” Things weren’t looking too good.
But then they moved onto vault and things got a little better. A few hops on the dismount here and there but they scored higher than China, U.S.A's biggest competitor.
Then it was time for the bars where U.S.A basically owns and finally Sam and Chellsie had a chance to compete. Sam started off with a solid performance considering she had a busted ankle but Chellsie didn’t fair so well. And there is nothing worse/better for my blog than seeing someone completely blow it in his or her only event at the Olympic games. Coming off a move that can only be described as “she tried to jump from the big bar to the little bar” (I’m clearly up on my gymnastics lingo) Chellsie’s right hand slipped and she fell right off. And I’m telling you, myself and the rest of the world gasped as her Olympic career finished as quickly as it started and I even felt a stab of pain in the empty icebox where my heart should be for her.
Nastia Lukin. Picture from flickr.com
But I quickly got over it because Nastia was next! I mean her name is Nastia she has to rock it! Well if rock it means almost cracking your face on the bar and managing to fall under the mat below bars and not on the actual landing mat, then yes, she rocked it.
It didn’t get much better after that but thankfully the U.S.A still managed to qualify for finals, second behind team China (the other teams must have really bit it). And the women’s team managed to put on their happy faces and gather around for a tight, personal, private, post tournament huddle, which was naturally captured and televised by NBC. You couldn’t make out anything that was being said because, like any good young American girls, they were all talking over each other.
After the huddle the team probably all headed back to their separate rooms. Bridget to practice her scared TV face, Sam to face her overanxious mom and explain why she can’t just tough it out like that little Kerri Strug did 12 years ago, Alicia to discover new ways to pull her ponytail back so tight that it gives her a mini face lift, Chellsie Memmel to, well cry, Shawn Johnson to gloat over the fact that she is the only teammate not biting it, and Nastia to face her Olympic gold medaling father who will most likely shout at her in angry Russian, take a shot of Stoli, and then go on to paddle her with a balance beam (I don’t think that is physically possible but he is Russian after all).
So hopefully after a good night’s sleep, the women’s team will awaken, rejuvenated, add an extra barrette in the hair, a little more glittery eye shadow, some extra hairspray to keep the suit from riding up their butts (they are having some issues with that, not that I think most men would mind but then again most grown men could go to jail for checking out most of those girls), and go out there, make America proud, and win gold. Because let’s be honest, if the color of the medal isn’t gold and the Star Spangled Banner isn’t playing during the medal presentation ceremony, than it just isn’t good enough.
A win/win deal
When a trade goes down, it's rare that both sides come away happy.
I'm reminded of the time I traded my Dennis Rodman rookie card for a Kordell Stewart card. It was pure genius at the time; an intersport trade for the ages. Then Kordell became a quarterback.
I'm also reminded of the time I paid a friend in my fantasy baseball league $5 under the table to trade me Pedro Martinez for the stretch run. He went on the DL the next week. I didn't make the playoffs.
I'd never be able to hack it as a GM.
This past week a trade transpired in Major League Baseball that, at least for the meantime, has all sides giggling with delight.
The Red Sox, Dodgers and Pirates orchestrated a three-team trade that sent Manny Ramirez to LA, Jason Bay to Boston and a couple prospects from both sides to the Bucs.
The Sox couldn't keep Manny, he had basically given up. He stopped hustling, shaving and showering.
The Pirates had no reason to keep Bay. He will be a free agent in two years and the Pirates are not exactly on the cusp of contending. His value was never going to be as high as it was in July so it was logical to get something in return instead of seeing him walk away in 2010.
And the Dodgers had no reason not to trade for Manny. The Sox will pick up the remainder of his contract and the Dodgers gave away little production from their current roster in order to get him. And in the weak NL West, he could just be the difference maker needed to push them into the playoffs.
Right now, all three teams are looking like the winners of the deal.
Bay had an immediate impact, scoring both runs in a 2-1, extra-inning victory in his first game. He hit a 3-run homer the next night. Since moving across the country, Manny has eight hits in 13 at-bats, including two homeruns. The four prospects the Pirates received have already cracked their list of top 15 prospects in their organization.
So while it may change in a month, at least for now all three teams are reaping the benefits of the trade.
But while the Pirates may have to wait a few seasons to see how it worked out for them, the real test for Boston and LA will come in October.
I Mustn't Pull a Farve
Photo from flickr.com.
I understand exactly why Brett Farve came out of retirement.
I never thought I'd say that and I know most of you expect me to make fun of him and heckle the Packers even more for taking the old geezer, nevertheless attractive geezer, back on the team, but I'm not. Because on Saturday, I officially retired from swimming, so, for a bit of closure, I am going to blog about my last season as one of the Clearwater Dolphin's Head Coaches.
For starters, I am not an athletic person. I love sports, but as far as playing sports goes, I'm injury prone and don't enjoy sweating so me and sports don't get along very well. But for some reason, swimming was that sport that I always just got (mostly because it's a non contact sport and who can tell if you're sweating when you're in water anyway? It all looks the same!). And Clearwater is the reason I started swimming. Like Brett Farve I have been with Clearwater for so many years I've lost count. Two years ago, I was lucky enough to become one of their Head Coaches. I was sort of the Brett Farve of the team, the play maker, the QB in a sense.
Me and Steph, the other head coach at a night meet. Photo by MaryAnn Badenoch.
And as is the case for most coaches, I had a tough first year. Although the team went 4-1 and placed second at the All Team Meet (sort of the Superbowl of swimming) it was a season I could have done without. And if anyone read my blog last summer (thanks mom) you have already received an earful about last summer from nasty opposing coaches, to narrow loses, and to my biggest fear, scary Summit Mommies watching me like a hawk, poised to attack at any opportune moment. It was almost enough to make me not want to come back.
But of course, I couldn't stay away and agreed to another season and thank god I did because this has by far been the best swim team experience of my career. Everything just fell into place and we easily went 5-0, serving a can of you know what to every team we faced. And since we were the only undefeated team in the league, we became the Dual Meet Champions of the league.
Then came the All Team meet this past Saturday. The All Team Meet is sort of like the All Star Game and the Superbowl all in one. It doesn't matter how you got there or what your record was for the season, this meet determines who is the best team in the league that season. With one swimmer or relay team per team in each event, it was truly the best of the best and a meet that we hadn't won in 30 years.
And something magical happened that day. We were supposed to get rained out and we didn't. We had swimmers break records we hadn't even imagined they could break. We had some of our swimmers seeded 5th and 6th place 1st and 2nd. And we did the impossible. We won the meet. And we won by an incredible amount considering it should have been a close meet with all the top swimmers competing from each team.
Photo by Jen Nerby.
And after the last race was swum, and I knew we had it in the bag, I walked over to my team's area to gather up my squad and give one last meet wrap up talk. And that's when it hit me, that's when I knew what it was like to be Farve. The end of my career was minutes away. I had just completed my last meet and a history making season. I was retiring and leaving the perfect situation. I had an unstoppable team that will only get better as the years go on. I had parents who supported me and a club that wanted me to come back and kids who adored me and the rest of the staff. I was crazy to want to leave all of this. And that must have been how Farve felt. People in Wisconsin idolize Farve. He's their star, he makes them feel safe and they know that he's a reliable QB and a team leader. Why leave?
So after we had received our numerous trophies, shook hands, hugged our swimmers, and parted ways, for a split second I considered pulling a Farve and returning to the team. What could it hurt? They wanted me back, I wanted to be back, why not?
But then I realized that coming out of retirement was not the answer. The team was going to be fine without me and there were people ready to take over the team that were just as capable as I was. What I don't think Farve understands is that, it's time for him to move on and give others the spot light. It's time to grow up and pursue other avenues in life. Go out on top because most likely, you won't have some magical season after you come out of retirement. I know the chances of us replicating this season are next to impossible so why come back just knowing that I'll always be thinking, why can't summer 09 be like summer 08? That was the season to remember.
So I might as well go out on top and not be greedy with my time spent with the team. I had my time with the Dolphins just like Farve had his time with the Packers. So although I understand his desire to return and I completely sympathize with him, I know that I have to remind myself that I cannot do the same. It's been a good run with the Dolphins but alas, it is time to hang up the polyester blend coaching shirt and Clearwater bathing suit and move on with my life.
Photo by Me.
