Top Nine Reasons the Celtics Will Win the NBA Finals

As the NBA enters their 8th month of playoffs, I thought I would offer a little insight into the Finals. After all, I'm tremendous at making predictions, so you can take this to the bank.

TOP NINE REASONS THE CELTICS WILL WIN THE NBA FINALS

9. I picked the the Lakers to win in six. FYI, I also picked the Mavericks to beat the Hornets, the Suns to beat the Spurs, the Wizards to beat the Cavaliers and Houston to beat Utah. Huh.


8. Pau Gasol looks like a human version of Big Bird, minus the crack addict friend Snuffalufagus.

7. Kobe Bryant can't do it all. As Jalen Rose said on ESPN, he is playing like the late, great, Tupac Shakur. "All eyes on him." Wait.... Tupac is dead?

6. Leon Powe is now referred to as Leon POW! by Phil Jackson. No one in the history of the NBA Playoffs has ever lost with a last name name that has an exclamation mark.

5. Kevin Garnett is pulling down boards, hitting outside shots and swearing loud enough for the cameras to hear him more than usual.

4. Ray Allen of UConn is taking a seat and Jesus Shuttlesworth of Big State is taking his spot on the court. "Jesus Shuttlesworth is the best thing to happen to basketball since the tennis shoe." - John Thompson

3. Paul Pierce with one knee - and probably a boat load of pain killers - is better than Luke Walton, Jordan Farmar, Derek Fisher and Vladimir Radmanovic.

2. Lakers' guard Sasha Vujacic wears a woman's hair band and calls himself "automatic." Automatically gay, maybe. Not that there is anything wrong with that...



And the number one reason the Celtics will win the NBA Playoffs...

1. They are already up 2-0. If we only knew that a week ago, how rich we all could be.