Please don't hurt me Kimbo

A lot has changed since my last blog. The weather has gotten nicer, the Tampa Bay Rays are in first place in the AL East and Kobe is quietly approaching MJ status. But if you missed CBS' airing of MMA on Saturday night, you really missed out.

MMA stands for mixed martial arts, for those of you who weren't sure. It is basically backyard fighting in a cage. And for this event they had the ultimate backyard fighter - 6'2", 250-pound Internet sensation Kimbo Slice.

Now this isn't the type of show you would usually see on cable television, especially on retirement homes' #1 station - CBS. It seems better suited for the FOX airwaves, right after their season finale of "Will You Fornicate With My Mother?"

But violence aside, it was actually entertaining. True MMA fans are complaining that it's ruining the integrity of the sport, having an amateur like Slice fight as the main event. Well, I'm not one of those people, and I would just like to apologize to Mr. Slice in their behalf, because, well, he scares the hell out of me.

Watch the video of him on youtube when he lets his opponent punch him in the face several times before he knocks him out and you'll understand.

His beard looks like it's made of steel wool. His nostrils are big enough to fit my whole fist. I was thinking about mailing him my lunch money today, just to avoid possible future confrontation. But I think he'll be able to survive off his six figure payout from Saturday.

He entered the match 2-0, with no fight lasting into the 2nd round. This time, however, it took him three rounds to pop the seven inch, blood-filled zit his opponent called an ear.

It was the first time I watched MMA, and I came away entertained. The women's match entertained me, too. And they weren’t even naked. Go figure.

So as a rookie to the MMA world, I would like to give my full endorsement, whatever that is worth. I will more than likely watch it again, unless there is something better on.



This is Joe Giardina, and I support this message.