My Fantasy Political Team

I know what you're thinking, after 60 plus blogs, I can read your minds by now, and here is what you're thinking:

"Meredith what does politics have to do with sports?

And if you didn't know that you were thinking that, now you know, I'm one step ahead of you.

So what, does politics have to do with sports? Very little. But the idea of a politically related blog popped into my head during a speech and debate practice one day (I know I'm on the speech and debate team and it's totally rad! Sort of...) My coach and I were working on my speech which is, to no one's surprise, about sports and he said: "Try and work in some political jokes, it makes you sound smarter."

Apparently sports knowledge isn't enough.

So, I started thinking, maybe I don't sound smart enough in my own blog, although I am supposed to write about sports so maybe that's simply untrue. Anyway, I am going to attempt a politically related sports blog, God help me.


Where to start? I should probably draft my team first and now that I know everything about fantasy leagues (and still despise them) I should probably form my own political team. So, here is my fantasy draft (assuming that I got up late, missed the start time, and only received a handful of solid players).


Catcher: CNN Political Correspondent Candy Crowley as Jason Veritek. They are both wise and respected men in their fields with the legs necessary for catching (have you ever seen Tek's thighs? They are like tree trunks!) Oh, and Candy also looks more like a Jason than a Candy (note: If your name is Candy, Destiny, Ginger, etc, you should probably change it before you become a CNN political correspondent.)

Pitcher: John McCain as Curt Shilling. They are both old, conservative, and should maybe think about retiring.

1st Base: Bill Richardson as David Ortiz. He may not make the best first basemen but he is loveable and has skills in other areas of the game.

2nd Base: Mitt Romney as himself (He's really incomparable). With a team of mostly politicians compared to Red Sox players, I figured he'd fit in, since Massachusetts loves him so.


3rd Base: Hillary Clinton because similar to Red Sox 3rd basemen, Mike Lowell, she's a veteran who seemed washed up but she's a fighter and could still end up MVP in my league (that's most valuable politician for all of you out there).

Short Stop: Dennis Kucinich as Alex Rodriguez. They both used to be super stars, at least I think Dennis has and, if not, they both have hot wives.

Right Field: Mike Huckabee as himself. I figured since we can't get rid of him in the presidential race, why should I do so on my team? Hopefully in the outfield he'll bother less people.


Center Field: Barack Obama as Jacoby Elisbury. They are both young superstars, although it is yet to be seen if they need more practice before truly entering the majors. Either way, they are both extremely handsome (swoon).


Left Field: Ralph Nader as Barry Bonds. No matter how many times Ralph Nader runs, no one is going to vote for him, and no matter how many times Bonds claims he has never taken steroids, no one is going to believe him.


Manager: Wolf Blitzer as Joe Torre. Love him or hate him, he knows his stuff and will be around for a long time, even if it isn't with the Yankees (smooth move Steinbrenner).

Bench Coach: Mark Foley because I'm sure he loves male sporting events! (As long as he stays away from the batboys).

Waterboy: Ron Paul. Let's be honest, the man looks like walking death, he shouldn't be on the field, that's just dangerous. Also, he looks like he could pour a mean cup of Gatorade.


There you have it, my 2008 political dream team. The question now isn't, will they play well but rather, if they will play well together as a team. Because just like real sport's teams, if partisan lines can't be crossed, and double plays cannot be turned, and world issues cannot be solved, and pitchers cannot hit their zones, then the team is simply going to fall apart.