But it's Just a Sweet, Sweet Fantasy Baby

I'm sorry I just had to do it. This was the ideal topic to use Mariah Carey lyrics in my title and I just couldn't resist. My only saving grace I believe is that they are old school Mariah lyrics which is so much cooler than new school Mariah Carey, but still not that cool because it is Mariah Carey after all.

Oddly enough, these lyrics were actually fitting to my blog topic today (for once): Fantasy leagues. Was Miss. Carey obsessed with ESPN when she wrote this song? Was she trying to trade for Randy Johnson back in 1995 and, when it didn't work, sighed to herself and said, "It's Just a Sweet, Sweet Fantasy Baby." Probably not, but a girl can dream.

I decided to investigate fantasy leagues because, I do not understand them. Not even a little. What is the point of having fantasy sports leagues? It's just confusing. I couldn't figure out while perusing the ESPN website what was real and what was fantasy league because it all looks the same. Can't you guys out there just play Madden or something? Do you really need your own little fantasy team to play with online? Is this some subconscious way of living out your childhood dreams of playing on a professional team or, more specifically, running a team filled with players of your liking? I bet Scott Boras would kick ass at fantasy baseball.

I started my quest for answers at 10:02 am, which is the exact time I stop paying attention in my science class, which starts at 10am. I have a short attention span. It is now 10:40am and I still have yet to understand anymore about fantasy leagues than I did before. Wikipedia didn't even have a definition about fantasy leagues; I am completely lost.

So, I decided to sign up for a fantasy league myself and obviously I picked, stock car racing. Nothing I love more than stock cars. Whatever that means. Honestly it was the only one I could figure out how to sign up for.

My first task was to join a league and golly was that hard! How do I decide between the "Northern Nascar Nuts" and the "DO WORK SON" leagues? After much debate, I went with WHAT DA HELL I KNOW? group. That doesn't even grammatically make sense which is really fitting to the demographic of people who enjoy nascar. I will be the fourth member of this group. Apparently WHAT DA HELL DO I KNOW? isn't a popular league.

Onto the next step: Creating my team. 1. Location, Location, Location. Estonia obviously. I feel like they could use a league, their voices deserve to be heard! Nickname: The Stones. Get it like the Rolling Stones but not! Abbreviation: What? Um, I guess we'll go with E, but not like the actor on Entourage.

Now, I have the choice to learn about drafting 101, NASCAR in general, or I have the option to "take me to my league." Ok ESPN, take me to my league. I am currently on my little League page, it's like facebook for racing fans! Apparently the draft doesn't occur till February 15th in the "early a.m." What does that even mean? How early is early? Don't people have jobs? How are they going to have time to do this? Our first race is Daytona 500, so the page also has articles about the first race and who is projected to win, which only further confuses me. Are we talking real Daytona or fantasy Daytona? Or does real Daytona influence our fantasy Daytona decisions? I am still lost.

So, this little experiment has been a bit of a let down. I did get to make a sweet racing team, I just don't know what to do with it. Just like my American Girl doll, Samantha, who I received for my 9th birthday, my racing team will sit in my room, unused and unloved mostly because I don't know how to work it, and in Samantha's case, how to play with her (What the heck do you do with a doll that isn't Barbie?) So, thanks for nothing ESPN. I still don't understand fantasy leagues. I don't get why you waste money on journalists to write stories on the fantasy leagues. And I really, really don't understand the appeal of Nascar. What I do know is this: I enjoy reality over fantasy especially when it comes to sports and WHAT DA HELL DO I KNOW? is going to be super pissed at me when I don't wake up at 4:00am, put on my Jeff Gordon racing jacket, pop a can of Bud Light, and race to my computer to draft my perfect Nascar team.